Aaaah, the joys of NoShaveNovember. Twitter filled with misogynist garbage, guys in fedoras who think are hot because they have grown three little hairs on their chins. Right, where do I start?
I am a girl. I had always been a girl, always identified at female. 18 years-old, petite. And guess what? No, I have not killed anybody, I have not hurt anyone. I must confess, however, this terrible and unforgivable fact: I have body hairs.
Yup, right on. Since my teenager years, I have hairs. On my legs, around my genitals, under my armpits, on my arms. And since a woman’s value can be only estimated by the way she looks, I am probably a horrible, disgusting creature. I ought to hide in a cavern, to never appear to society again. Because yes, ladies and gentlemen: sometimes, especially in the Winter… I do not shave. At all.
It seems, at least on the Internet, that ladies who don’t shave can only be one thing: fat feminists, who hate men, are virgins and have low self-esteem. Well, hold on well, because it’s not exactly that way. Here’s a little lesson about ladies and hairs.
1) ALL LADIES HAVE HAIRS. ALL OF THEM. The lady in the bad porn you’ve wanked to the other day? She has hairs. Emma Watson? Hairs. Your mum? Yes, you’ve guessed it, hairs again. It is not unnatural, it is not disgusting, it is not repulsive. It’s simply the way nature has made us! If you think women always have smooth and hairless legs… Well, you probably never had a girlfriend for more than a week.
2) Some girls want to shave. Some don’t. Some, like me, are sometimes completely shaved and sometimes fully hairy. And guess what? It doesn’t matter! A woman’s worth isn’t determined by the number of hairs she has on her body. A woman is much more worth than her body, for fuck’s sake. Try and learn that.
3) Shaving is expensive and takes time. I don’t always want to spend all my money on razors blades or wax. I sometimes don’t even have the time or motivation to do it, especially during the winter when I barely get to show my legs in public. Men, try to think about that: would you want your legs to be described as ‘disgusting’ and ‘shameful’ just because you didn’t shave them?
4) A woman’s self respect isn’t told by whether she shaves or not. I REPEAT: YOU, AS A WOMAN, ARE NOT DISGUSTING BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO KEEP YOUR HAIRS ON. IF A MAN IS DISGUSTED BY YOUR BODY, THEN YOU PROBABLY AREN’T SEEING THE RIGHT PERSON.
5) HAIRS ON A WOMAN ARE NOT MORE DISGUSTING THAN HAIRS ON A MAN. THESE HAIRS ARE THE SAME. HAIRS. ARE. NOT. DISGUSTING. THEY LITERALLY ARE SMALL LITTLE HAIRS: DO NOT LET THEM MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR DISGUSTING.
So yes. Hairs are fine. Hairs never stopped me from getting laid. Hairs are a personally matter, and if you think women who don’t shave are disgusting… Well, you probably aren’t mature enough to even touch a clitoris.
With that, my hairy legs and I salute you.
It’s crazy how much I can relate to strangers…I love Tumblr. (:
MYBRETHREN. I HAVE FOUND MY BRETHREN.
I totally friggin’ nodded and then freaked the frick out when I read the next line where it accused me of doing the very thing O_O
Wow, accidentally deleted my original post. Reblogging so I can keep it in my archives.
As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…
“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”
and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”
Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?
From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.
Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?
Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”
I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that - I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is.Hugh Mackay: What Makes Us Tick? (via musharama)
As a society, we encourage girls and women to be emotionally accessible, and in touch with their feelings; we say that it’s an innately feminine trait. We say it, that is, until they have feelings that make us uncomfortable, at which point we recast them as melodramatic harpies, shrieking banshees, and basket cases.
Tori Amos (via dr-clear-heels)
Don’t force us to miss you. Just pause, and narrow your focus. The little things matter. Smiles. Warmth. Love. Affection. And even if you’re lost and confused and hurting right now, there will be someone who wants to find the things that make you happy and shower you with them. Someone there to help ease any pain you feel. And even if you haven’t found that someone, there’re 6 billion + people in the world. You shouldn’t give up until you’ve checked out every single one.